The BONDAGE OF APPROVAL

They say time flies when you're having fun. You know where the fun was last year? Not here! But time did fly past real fast. I would have offered an apology but you already heard that in the last post **looks away shamefully**... So now that our inconsistency is out in the open, should we just move on like nothing happened or should we do the whole profuse apology thing? **awkward moment of silence***

ANYWAY, WELCOME TO 2022! We missed out on so much last year, but thank you all for your patience. We received all your texts, calls, screenshots and subtle jabs (yes, those too)..But we also recognize that we were steadily building a family of readers here and we left you high and dry. We're back with no promises, but I have a personal agenda to carry full-term this year (no pun intended), so let's do this together.

I want to welcome us with something I've been thinking about for a while. Over the past few years, I have observed how societal and cultural socializations make us think very differently, ultimately acting in ways that put us in a place of disadvantage. By us, I mean Ghanaians (maybe Africans).One of these differences, is the need of the Ghanaian for approval. I choose to call this the Bondage of Approval. 

We have an almost natural disposition to want to be liked by all and in a way, esteem ourselves more highly than others when we seem to be the favorite; favorite co-worker, favorite friend, favorite person. We do this so much that even in our adult life, we make choices to win the approval of arguably some of the most important people in our lives; our families and friends. We make adjustments to our personalities in public, speak inaudibly, laugh shyly at anything; basically alter who we are to fit the company we find ourselves in. Can I say something scandalous? You don't need anybody's approval. I have come to learn this personally, and till today, I am still unlearning that trait of gaining validation just from just being liked. Just like in our social media world, likes have no real meaning to the growing individual. 

There is a path for everyone, and at the risk of sounding cliche, everyone's path is different. Sometimes, we hide the parts of ourselves that make us unique; our quirkiness, our giddiness, the things we can do with our hands and even our own gifts and talents because sometimes they do not fit into the picture of who we've always been expected to be. The Bible tells us in Ephesians 2:10 that "we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them." You, and everything that makes you who you are, are already a masterpiece and everything that is so uniquely you, you were already ordained to walk in them or put them to use in your lifetime. All the extra aspirations you picked up along the way (you know, the ones that seem to promise you a lifetime of extra money in your pocket, the American dream and a comfortable retirement), may be peripheral to the thing(s) that will bring you fulfillment. 

If you are stuck in a place between what you really want to do versus what you are expected to do, I would urge you to dare greatly. Dare to step out into the space where you are misunderstood but progressing, tired but growing, sacrificing but happy and most importantly, dare to step into the place you know God has called you to, and has ordained you to walk in. Dare to shake off the bondage of approval and expectations of man and dare to make God the light that shines on your path for every next step.

This post may not be for everybody, but if it is for you, you know I'm talking to you.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Your friends,

Becky and Sharon