The Break-In

 

 

John 13 :35 - By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

 

 

Last week Sharon shared with us on how to deal with the pain and sense of loss that comes with the death of a loved one and receiving divine healing from God to fill the void. If you haven’t read that, please go back to our previous post and you’ll be blessed.

 

Today we want to talk about a different kind of loss. The kind of loss we don’t usually talk about in our Christian circles because it seems somewhat even embarrasing to admit to have felt it. The kind of loss and pain that makes you wake up at 2am and scream “herrrrhhh” and then go back to bed. See where I’m headed now? Yeah. Let’s talk about that. Let’s talk about when your heart gets broken. Before all ye “Team Hard Guys and Girls” start shrugging and waltz off because this doesn’t concern you, I’ll entreat you to not retreat just yet.

 

Unlike the death of the loved one where the object of your pain is no more on earth, with a heartbreak, more often than not,  the object of your pain is a “living, breathing,  walking, talking, moving  miracle” whom you have to interact with at work, school, church, social events etc.  So you realize with a heartbreak you don’t only need healing for your heart, but as a Christian you need a new and specific kind of heart moving forward – The Heart of Jesus. 

 

Jesus was a man who endured the worst form of heartbreak yet showed the purest form  of love despite the painful experience.  Now that should be the goal, not just to heal but to show the purest form of love and be a true reflection of Christ after this. It is not about getting your heart fixed back into place, but viewing this as an opportunity to have your heart remodeled after Christ. The goal is to appear in  heaven right, well Christ expects us to be just like Him and what perfect way to test our hearts and remodel it to be like His than this?

 

When Jesus was being crucified on the cross He shouted, “My God, My God why did you abandon me?” (Matthew 27:46).  Now that’s the climatic emotion felt after a heartbreak - an overwhelming sense of loneliness and betrayal. Before that, let’s not forget that here is a young man who is hanging very naked on a cross - exposed and embarrassed openly. A man betrayed by one of the disciples he dearly loved and shared deep secrets with,  who chose to sell him out for money. A man whose love was taken for granted by the very people He sacrificed all His time and resources ministering to.  A man whose love was repaid with insults, disdain and such disrespect - after all they chose a hardened criminal over him when it mattered most.

So no, it’s not a cliché when it is said that Jesus understands and feels your pain because He truly experienced it in human form.. You grieve at night and put on a cheerful face for others in the morning – Well, He didn’t have the option to cover up like we do; it was in the full glare of everyone. So yes, Jesus has been there and He understands and still wants you to respond the way He would.

 

Every experience we have on earth is to build the CHARACTER OF GOD in us. The goal is to become like Christ right? Well that means you need to view this experience as an opportunity God is using to mould you into becoming like Him. Truth is, God expects that when you appear in heaven, be just like Him such that when you see that person who hurt you, all you feel is so much love for this individual and you will hug him/her with open arms having no record of that wrong. How else can He mould our hearts into having His character if He doesn’t allow it to get broken into on earth for Him to remodel it such that it becomes like His?

 

Truth is we are more receptive to God when we are in pain and have no answers.

So for the child of God, the goal is not just to be HEALED but to have a heart just like His after this experience. You need to view this break-in into your heart as an opportunity  to have a remolded heart just like that of Jesus Christ. Though the world offers coping mechanizing like embark on a journey of self-love, revenge among others, it only gives you a sense of self-gratification but does not reflect Christ.

 

So what’s the way out then? 

 

 

TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING AND IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM – Proverbs 3 : 5 - 6

 

The foundation of every relationship is trust and Jesus is asking that you trust Him with your broken heart. Your trust is evidenced in your response.  Every  relational interaction you will have with others on earth(no exceptions) should be in the context of how Jesus relates with us.

 

The  natural response when you’re hurt is to avoid the person, seek revenge or hurt the person back. Or yet, take the falsehood created by the world which is to embark on a journey of self-love which you know deep down is still a form of self-gratification to prove a point to yourself. Adopting coping mechanisms like these show that you are leaning on your own understanding.

 

It’s not about self-love which honestly at a point will get exhausting but it’s about embracing God’s love which never runs out.

 

Self-love says I’m going to cut them off completely and never talk to them again yet God’s love says  love is not puffed up or behaves rudely. Self-love says I’ll never forgive and forget what they have done, yet God’s love says love keeps record of no wrongs. Self-love says do you and care only about yourself, God’s love says  don’t be self-absorbed in your grief, still love others.

 

Here’s the point -  as a child of God you don’t deal with a heartbreak the way the world deals with it or expects you to. You have a higher standard to live by and you become more like Christ if you do that. That shows you’re a TRUE DISCIPLE! You are to reflect the very nature of Christ and that means putting back the slain ear of the soldier who came to kill you or whilst hanging on the cross at the height of your pain and abandonment, you choose to call out to the Father for forgiveness for those who are killing you. Now that’s you choosing not to lean on your own understanding but taking a stance to love like Christ even if it looks foolish or seems unreasonable.

 

The way out is to acknowledge God – which is His word in all your ways. In ALL means in ALL. There are no exceptions. So whether it makes logical sense to pray for your “ enemy” or not,  acknowledge God and do it. Whether it makes sense to genuinely show love to someone who has hurt you the most acknowledge Him and do it. His word says you should keep no record of wrongs so you acknowledge that and choose to erase the memory. His word says come to me all ye who are heavy-laden and I’ll give you rest – so you acknowledge Him and turn to Him for rest – not movies, a rebound or alcohol. His word says if you know your brother has offended you, take the first step and make peace, so you drop your pride and acknowledge His word and reach out to that person today. 

 

His direction only comes to play after you acknowledge His word. If you don’t acknowledge His word, He can’t show you the path to your healing nor will He reach out to you because of your  pride and self-loathing. He wants you to be like Him. Not like the world. That starts by acknowledging Him even in situations like these.

 

So today I want to ask you; Who broke into your heart? Who made away with things so dear to you that you’re struggling to bear the loss? Who did you let into your heart and allowed to rearrange things, such that by the time they left it seems everything is messed up and you cannot even recognize your own heart anymore? Who has made you hate your own heart now? Who made you forget your heart even belonged only to you and Christ in the first place; they had stayed there so long you started to feel it belonged to them as well such that when they left, it felt like it went with them? 

 

A break-in is a good time to clean up and  allow your heart to learn how to love others just like Christ. Christ doesn’t only fix your heart back together – He gives you a new one – HIS!

Your friends,

Becky and Sharon